Update and Graduation Advice
Then there was Mother's Day, which was kind of rough for me as it has been since my mother passed away 15 years ago. This year it was a bit tougher since my grandmother passed away less than a month before. But I got through it. And I got tickets to see Barry Mani!ow in Vegas the following weekend. I'm a big fan, have been for years. So the weekend of the 19th, we went to Vegas for a long weekend. It was great!! But as they say, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, so let's just say we drank, gambled and had fun. We also came home with more money than we left with. Score!!
Last Sunday, we had a graduation party for A. It was fun and A. seemed to really enjoy it. So did the houseful of kids we had over here. Tuesday was his graduation. I am so proud of him. He pulled his GPA up from a 2.92 at the beginning of the year to a 3.45. Way to go A!!
I have to admit there were times there, especially during middle school, when I really wondered if this day would ever come. As I told him the other day, he was a real little shit from age 12 to about 16. I'm happy to report that he is almost human again, and we get along much better these days. We still butt heads occasionally, but he's finally clued into the fact that I might just know a little bit about things sometimes. Amazing.
Anyway, I'm going to print the commencement address that according to urban legend was given by Kurt Vonnegut at a commencement at MIT. The truth is it was written by Mary Schmich of the Chicago Tribune. Either way it's a great speech filled with great advice (which as usual, is wasted on the young).
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '07:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.