FUMING!!!!!
I am so angry right now I'm not even sure how I'm seeing straight to type this. I'll give some background so you'll understand why I'm so mad.
A's father and I met when I was 21 and on the rebound from a very ill advised, too-young-to-know-better, abusive marriage. I was in the process of getting divorced after finally getting fed up and finding the courage to get out. My father had died a couple of months before and I found out that while I was in Florida for my dad's time in the ICU and eventual funeral, my husband, back in Texas, had been out with 3 different women. He even took one of them to the movies the night my dad died and didn't call me until 2 days later. My ex was a real peach.
Anyway, I met A's father and he seemed nice, treated me better than my ex, took me to nice places, etc. Six months into the relationship, I found out I was pregnant shortly after finding out he had a crack problem. (I could sure pick 'em when I was young) I had just gotten him to go into treatment the week before I found out I was pregnant. To make a very long story short, we stayed "together", but never living together or married because he lived in a halfway house for recovering addicts, for 2 years after our son was born. Then I finally decided that if I was going to be a single parent anyway, I might as well not have to deal with his bs at the same time. I walked away and had no intention of ever looking back. But being the control freak he was and still is, he decided to try to sue me for custody of A. Needless to say, he didn't get it. What he did get was an order to pay child support in the amount of $365.25 pre month, or $170.42 every 2 weeks.
Fast forward close to 15 years and that's still what I receive in child support. In those 15 years, he has managed to stay clean and now makes a very nice living as a lobbyist (perfect career choice for this slime ball, believe me). Over the years, he has played games with the support and had it not been for our local support enforcement agency, I'm sure he would have stopped paying entirely. Last year, I talked to him about increasing the amount of support he was paying, since A is now in high school and his needs are much greater now than they were when he was 2. We agreed on an increase of less than I had asked for but more than he wanted to pay, but it seemed reasonable ($700 a month). I asked him to draw up an agreement with the new amount and he said it wasn't necessary. Shortly after that, I found out that he had cancelled A's prepaid college plan and gotten a refund on it 8 years ago and never bothered to say anything. So, A is now less than a year from going to college and his college fund is non-existent. That upset me a bit.
So I hired a lawyer to get the college fund taken care of and I mentioned the child support adjustment. She informed me that our state has specific guidelines for child support based on income and the reason he didn't want to draw up an agreement is that working for a law firm like he does now, he knew that the amount we agreed to was not within the guidelines. So she said she would take care of getting the child support modified at the same time she got the college fund straightened out. (FYI - our mediation agreement way back when specified that he would pay for the prepaid college fund for A. It's not something that is normally required but it was part of our agreement and A has been counting on having that money to go to a state university). The lawyer first wrote him a letter in July to try to get this settled without going to court and all that. He responded by filing a bar complaint against her with some of the craziest allegations my lawyer or I have ever heard. That upset me a bit too.
Today, after months of trying to get information out of him, I finally received his financial affidavit. It's kind of ironic that it came in the mail on the same day I received my usual child support check for $170.42 (it comes every 2 weeks thanks to support enforcement). His affidavit states that me makes ............... are you ready for this???? $279,000.00 a year or about $23,253 a month or $10,796 every 2 weeks!! But yet this is the same guy that cut A's child support back to the original $170.42 every 2 weeks when he got my lawyer's letter. He's sitting there crying poor mouth and sending less money to his son than what he spends on dry cleaning and haircuts a month (according to his financial affidavit). That totally pisses me off!!!
So now I'm going for the jugular. He's going to pay back child support to at least this time last year when he first agreed that child support should increase. He's going to pay me back for all the health insurance I paid that he was supposed to provide but never did. He's going to pay me back for all the medical expenses I paid that he was supposed to pay 70% of but he never did, no matter how many times I asked. He's going to PAY!!!!
Can you blame me??
A's father and I met when I was 21 and on the rebound from a very ill advised, too-young-to-know-better, abusive marriage. I was in the process of getting divorced after finally getting fed up and finding the courage to get out. My father had died a couple of months before and I found out that while I was in Florida for my dad's time in the ICU and eventual funeral, my husband, back in Texas, had been out with 3 different women. He even took one of them to the movies the night my dad died and didn't call me until 2 days later. My ex was a real peach.
Anyway, I met A's father and he seemed nice, treated me better than my ex, took me to nice places, etc. Six months into the relationship, I found out I was pregnant shortly after finding out he had a crack problem. (I could sure pick 'em when I was young) I had just gotten him to go into treatment the week before I found out I was pregnant. To make a very long story short, we stayed "together", but never living together or married because he lived in a halfway house for recovering addicts, for 2 years after our son was born. Then I finally decided that if I was going to be a single parent anyway, I might as well not have to deal with his bs at the same time. I walked away and had no intention of ever looking back. But being the control freak he was and still is, he decided to try to sue me for custody of A. Needless to say, he didn't get it. What he did get was an order to pay child support in the amount of $365.25 pre month, or $170.42 every 2 weeks.
Fast forward close to 15 years and that's still what I receive in child support. In those 15 years, he has managed to stay clean and now makes a very nice living as a lobbyist (perfect career choice for this slime ball, believe me). Over the years, he has played games with the support and had it not been for our local support enforcement agency, I'm sure he would have stopped paying entirely. Last year, I talked to him about increasing the amount of support he was paying, since A is now in high school and his needs are much greater now than they were when he was 2. We agreed on an increase of less than I had asked for but more than he wanted to pay, but it seemed reasonable ($700 a month). I asked him to draw up an agreement with the new amount and he said it wasn't necessary. Shortly after that, I found out that he had cancelled A's prepaid college plan and gotten a refund on it 8 years ago and never bothered to say anything. So, A is now less than a year from going to college and his college fund is non-existent. That upset me a bit.
So I hired a lawyer to get the college fund taken care of and I mentioned the child support adjustment. She informed me that our state has specific guidelines for child support based on income and the reason he didn't want to draw up an agreement is that working for a law firm like he does now, he knew that the amount we agreed to was not within the guidelines. So she said she would take care of getting the child support modified at the same time she got the college fund straightened out. (FYI - our mediation agreement way back when specified that he would pay for the prepaid college fund for A. It's not something that is normally required but it was part of our agreement and A has been counting on having that money to go to a state university). The lawyer first wrote him a letter in July to try to get this settled without going to court and all that. He responded by filing a bar complaint against her with some of the craziest allegations my lawyer or I have ever heard. That upset me a bit too.
Today, after months of trying to get information out of him, I finally received his financial affidavit. It's kind of ironic that it came in the mail on the same day I received my usual child support check for $170.42 (it comes every 2 weeks thanks to support enforcement). His affidavit states that me makes ............... are you ready for this???? $279,000.00 a year or about $23,253 a month or $10,796 every 2 weeks!! But yet this is the same guy that cut A's child support back to the original $170.42 every 2 weeks when he got my lawyer's letter. He's sitting there crying poor mouth and sending less money to his son than what he spends on dry cleaning and haircuts a month (according to his financial affidavit). That totally pisses me off!!!
So now I'm going for the jugular. He's going to pay back child support to at least this time last year when he first agreed that child support should increase. He's going to pay me back for all the health insurance I paid that he was supposed to provide but never did. He's going to pay me back for all the medical expenses I paid that he was supposed to pay 70% of but he never did, no matter how many times I asked. He's going to PAY!!!!
Can you blame me??
posted by Ann @ 2:24 PM
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